What a bad b*tch.

To my Heartbroken Bad B*tches,

There are so many of us this month. Like a plague, break-ups have spread. I just want to let you know that once a bad b*tch, always a bad b*tch. You lived before you met him, and life will continue. It may sound trite, but time truly heals everything— which is the hardest thing since you can’t change time. We often forget our worth, because we are so used to having that “other half”. It feels like the things that once mattered don’t anymore.

In the midst of your tears, do not forget the bad times. It’s easy for us to block out why it didn’t work in the first place. My friend told me today, that regardless of the pain I feel now, that she’d rather me be happy alone, than unhappy in a relationship. He will truly regret the day he let you go when he meets other girls that can’t even equivalate to you or the things you did for him. This pain that you feel now, doesn’t compare to the pain he will have for the rest of his life by allowing you to walk out that door. The best he ever looked was when he had you by his side. The best he ever sounded was when he was talking about you. The happiest he’ll ever be, were the moments spent with you. Lastly, the most he’ll ever be loved, was every time you looked him in the eyes and said, “I love you”.

One day you will be loved, you will be appreciated, you will be catered to, and you will realized how painless true love is.

Don’t forget to love yourselves my beautiful Bad B*tches. 

Xoxo,

Your beloved Bad B*tch </3

When you realize there is no back to the worksheet

Now THAT is real talk though.

     
For the ladies that like to leave a man with hickies all over their necks, making them look as if they were brutally strangled, I hope you gave him a minimum of a BJ. Because if you got that passionate over a make out session, or 2nd base, you have some serious sexual problems. We all love hickies, but only because they represent the naughty sex we had the other night…. not the crazy b*tch that went ape shit on my neck for no f*cking reason. If you are one of these kinds of b*tches, don’t wonder why that guy/girl never called you back, because I just told you. ☆

I’ve become obsessed with all of these fashion blogs, so I thought I might as well make one of my own. A Bad B*tch not only knows how to carry herself, but also knows how to turn heads. Bad B*tch Fashion includes all of the sexiest Fall obsessions. RAWR.

Some people just enjoy the sound of their voices a bit too much. Teachers are a prime example. They lecture on and on in the front of the classroom like it’s their stage. As they drone on about irrelevant bullsh*t, I fight back the urge to stand up, point at them, and yell, “You shut up right now”.

Bad B*tch Funny

Just a little something to start your Tuesday Morning off right. <3

Dear Hipster B*tches

I’ve made a bad b*tch blurb about your type once before, but it did not allow me to outlet the amount of hate I have for you.

You guys all sit around in your oversized and unflattering clothes, with nikons or canons strung around your necks, chain smoking and drinking your 40s. You attempt to send the message “I don’t give a fuck”…. but you’ve tried so hard it’s quite clear you in fact care very much.

I never really understood how hipster b*tches’ thought processes worked as far as fashion. Basically wearing mens clothes that was donated to a thrift store, then put on sale at a thrift store (i never even knew that was possible), then donated to Goodwill, and lastly purchased by you. You then create a cluster f*ck of clothes that you would call an outfit, I would say homeless person attire. 

What I want to grasp, is why half of these hipsters 1) Aren’t even from a major city, rather from a suburb like East Bay or even places like San Diego in Socal and 2) Are from relatively affluent families. I assume they get really excited to be in San Francisco, because it’s obviously amazing, but they generalize our city based on places like Valencia St. or Haight St. So they must dress the part! That’s probably why they bust a nut when they step into a Buffalo Exchange or Crossroads. It’s not like hipster b*tches were even born from hippy parents… these are the children of upperclass families. I mean what the f*ck do your parents even think as you come home for Winter break looking like you raped Bill Cosby for his closet? 

You dumb hipster b*tches, don’t you know REAL city b*tches would never be caught dead in half the sh*t you waste your parents money on? 

Take note of the following pleaseandthankyou:

• -Taking showers to get rid of the greasy root look, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

• -Stop thinking that by hanging out @ Ocean Beach, Dolores Park, and Valencia St. means that you are so “San Francisco”. You are the weakest link good bye.

• -No, getting tattoos of feathers and buddhist sayings doesn’t make you deep, it makes you offensive and stupid.

• -Wearing military boots, ripped tights, baggy dresses, no bras, flannels, etc….. IS NOT EVEN HOT. You look like a heroin addict from the TL (do you even know where that is?)

REAL SAN FRANCISCANS> hipster b*tches

Don’t call me a bitch because I said it, you thought it too!

Much love,

You Beloved Bad B*tch + 4R15CO Native

P.S. Fuck you and your fixie bikes. I feel no sorrow when one of you get hit by a car because you think the rules of a stop sign don’t apply to you. 

Check out this Hipster Band, so bad it’ll make you cry-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i-b9Ey-8GU&feature=player_embedded#!